Hey Mamas,
I’m not sure who else can relate, but something shifts in those initial months to a year after welcoming a baby. It’s like a rebirth – the things we once tolerated suddenly become less acceptable. Recently, my partner asked about my needs, and it took a moment of reflection. Motherhood has matured me, and now my response is simple: “I need my basic essentials (food and shelter) taken care of, and for our son to have what he needs.” The things that used to excite and fulfill me seem distant, as my body and mind are devoted to this tiny human every day. Patience for those lacking empathy has worn thin, and postpartum depression is a real presence. Conversations with those solely focused on themselves are no longer in my scope.
The authenticity of “mommy mode” is undeniable, a state where my thoughts are consistently centered on ensuring the optimal social and emotional development for my son. In this journey of motherhood, I often find myself meticulously planning activities, considering his well-being, and orchestrating an environment that fosters growth.
Yet, amidst the genuine dedication to my son’s flourishing, there’s a realization that I have inadvertently become an afterthought in the equation. The balance between meeting his needs and nurturing my own seems to tip in favor of his care. It’s a scenario where my aspirations, personal space, and even moments of self-reflection often take a backseat to the demands of motherhood.
Mom guilt is so prevalent; it looms like a dark shadow over us, making it easy to forget ourselves in the midst of caring for our children. But truly, we need to take care of ourselves as well. The simple fact that I struggled to articulate my needs beyond the basics is a clear sign that I need some “me time” and to reconnect with the things that once excited me outside of motherhood. So, what are some things you’re doing to reconnect with yourself? Whether it’s picking up an old hobby, taking a solo walk, scheduling a coffee date with a friend, or simply allowing yourself a few minutes of quiet reflection each day, it’s important to find those moments that are just for you. Remember, while our children are our world, we must also nurture our own well-being to be the best versions of ourselves for them. Let’s reclaim our identity outside of motherhood.
With Love,
Tookie
